Finding the Right Team for Your Child… and Hoping They Actually Stay

Elias and his 1:1 kneeling in front of a window together, she has one hand on his and she looks at him lovingly

One of the things no one tells you when you become a parent to a child with complex needs is just how many people will become part of your child’s daily life. And not just in a “they work with them” kind of way, but in a "they know your child’s favourite snack, understand his cues better than some family members, and bring him birthday presents" kind of way.

Finding the right team to help raise your child (because let's be real, this what your support team is doing) can feel like its own full-time job. And even when you finally get it right, there’s always that tiny voice in the back of your mind whispering, please don’t leave us…

We’ve been incredibly lucky with Elias. His first 1:1 when he started school was nothing short of brilliant, and her replacement when she left was equally phenomenal. The kind of phenomenal that other schools apparently noticed, because both were swiftly poached like rare talent in the Premier League. We recently found out after three short months, the woman who has become part of our family (I speak to her everyday, despite never actually meeting in person) is leaving this week. As proud as we were that they were recognised for their talent, it’s hard not to feel that little sting when your child builds a beautiful connection with someone… and then it just ends.

We joke (only a little seriously on my behalf) that it’s starting to feel personal at this point.

Thankfully, the universe gave a little back when one of them offered to stay part of the family as holiday cover; a blessing we didn’t know we needed until we had it. Having someone who knows Elias, understands him, and genuinely enjoys spending time with him? You can’t teach that. You can’t buy that either. Trust me, I’ve tried.

Transport has been its own journey (literally). Elias has to take a cab to and from school every day, no small commute. And finding the right people for that role was harder than it should have been. We had a few who simply realised it wasn’t for them. Fair enough… but also, *deep sigh*. Then, like magic, we were assigned the most incredible PA and driver team. The kind who chat to us like family, celebrate Elias’s milestones, and turn up with birthday presents. They’ve become part of our village without even trying.

And now, we’re here again: waiting to meet Elias’s next 1:1, being told her name but awaiting the introduction.

There’s a familiar mix of hope and hesitation. We know how important this role is. We know how much these relationships shape Elias’s development, confidence, and day-to-day joy. We know how deeply we feel it when they leave. But we still choose optimism. Because the right people do exist. And when they come along, they can transform everything.

So here’s what we’re holding onto as we wait:

• That she’s as warm, intuitive, and invested as the incredible women who came before her.

• That she sees Elias for who he is and meets him where he is.

• That she sticks around long enough to make a difference; not just for him, but for us too.

• And maybe, just maybe, that this time it won’t feel like the universe is playing musical chairs with our support system.

Because every family raising a child with additional needs knows: finding the right team isn’t just practical, it’s personal.

And when you do finally find them? They become part of your story.

Elias' 1:1 provides him support as he takes some tentative steps, she is genuinely excited and happy for him and signs 'well done' when he finishes.