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@jesynelson appears on an Instagram video talking candidly about her daughters' diagnosis with her followers When Jesy Nelson (of Little Mix fame) recently shared in an Instagram video that her twins have been diagnosed with SMA type 1 and that doctors have told her they may never walk, the response was immediate and visceral. Heartbreak. Fear. Love. Support. And for many parents already living in the world of complex or additional needs, a deep, familiar ache. Because this isn’t just celebrity news. This is a story that plays out quietly in hospital rooms, scan appointments and consultant letters every single day. There is a particular kind of grief that comes with an unexpected diagnosis. One that doesn’t always have space to exist. It’s not a lack of love for your child – it’s the mourning of the life you thought they might have, the ease you imagined for them, and the parenthood journey you believed you were stepping into. It’s learning, often overnight, that your path will look very different. Voices like Jesy’s matter because they make that grief visible. Too often, parents of disabled children are expected to be endlessly grateful, relentlessly positive, and quietly resilient. Public conversations rarely allow room for the fear, the anger, the confusion, or the deep sadness that can sit alongside fierce love and devotion. When someone with a platform speaks honestly about those emotions, it gives others permission to acknowledge their own. The reality is that congenital anomalies and complex medical needs are far more common than many people realise. What differs wildly is the level of support families are able to access once those needs are identified. Not every parent carer comes from a background where private therapies, second opinions or specialist treatments are financially possible. Not every parent has the confidence, energy or knowledge to push back when their local authority says “no”. Not every parent’s first language is English, yet they are expected to navigate an overwhelming medical landscape filled with terminology that barely makes sense even to native speakers. Early support, clear information and accessible resources can be life-changing. They can mean the difference between a parent feeling lost and isolated, or informed and empowered. Between a child missing out on vital intervention, or being given the best possible chance to thrive in their own way. That’s why representation matters. And why community matters. Jesy may never read this. But someone else going through what she is, might. Someone sitting in the aftermath of a diagnosis they didn’t see coming. Someone googling late at night, trying to make sense of words they never expected to learn. Someone wondering if they are allowed to grieve while still loving their child with every part of themselves. To that parent: you are not alone. This world may feel unfamiliar and frightening right now, but there is a community here that understands. One that will share knowledge, translate the jargon, stand beside you when you’re told “no”, and remind you that your feelings are valid. This may not be the parenting journey you imagined. But you do not have to navigate this new normal on your own.

Elias sits in front of Santa surrounded by his family There are many things I expect from a Santa’s grotto: A slightly questionable beard. An elf who looks like they’ve been working overtime since mid-November. A photo I will later overanalyse and question why my hair looks like "that". What I did not expect was to walk into a grotto and feel my chest crack open in the best possible way. Elias’ school recommended a special Santa’s grotto experience — hosted by Positive Signs CLC and set up inside Roomes department store in Upminster — and it wasn’t just any grotto. This was a grotto with a Santa who signs. Magic doesn’t even begin to cover it. Because just like that, a Christmas outing went from a nice festive activity to core memory unlocked. For families like ours, these outings come with an invisible checklist: Will this place understand our child? Will we have to explain ourselves? Will we need to translate, adapt, soften expectations, or leave early? Elias is deaf and has complex needs. He doesn’t sign yet himself, but he understands more than people realise. He reads faces, bodies, energy. He feels things deeply — joy included. So when we walked into the grotto and saw Santa and his helper elf signing to one another, something shifted. No awkward pause. No explaining. Just instant inclusion. I even got to practice my own signing — which felt a bit like being invited behind the curtain of Christmas magic. (Turns out Santa’s fluency in BSL is significantly better than mine. I remain firmly at “enthusiastic beginner”.) Elias didn’t sit politely on Santa’s knee. That’s not his style. Instead, he climbed. Pulled himself up. Stood holding Santa’s hands, steady and proud, like this was exactly where he was meant to be. And Santa — without rushing him, without redirecting him — met him right there. There was no pressure to perform. Just connection. Elias was animated. Engaged. Completely himself. And I stood there thinking: This. This is what inclusion looks like. Not grand gestures. Not performative box-ticking. Just a space designed so a child can show up as they are and be welcomed. It would be easy to dismiss this as a “nice extra”. A festive novelty. Something optional. But inclusion isn’t an add-on — it’s the difference between participation and exclusion. Between families feeling like outsiders or feeling like they belong. For parents of children with additional needs, moments like this don’t just create joy for our children — they give us relief. They let us exhale. They remind us that the world can meet our kids halfway. And yes, it’s “just” a Santa’s grotto. But it’s also representation. It’s visibility. It’s a child seeing that magic speaks their language too. We talk a lot about Christmas being “the most wonderful time of the year”. For many families like ours, it can also be the most exhausting — navigating crowds, noise, expectations, and traditions that weren’t built with our children in mind. That’s why places like this matter. Because when Santa signs, when elves adapt, when inclusion is intentional, Christmas becomes what it’s supposed to be: joyful, accessible, and full of wonder. And for us, this visit wasn’t just festive. It was affirming. It was hopeful. It was a reminder that small changes can make a huge difference. So here’s to inclusive grottos. To Santas who sign. To elves who adapt. And to children like Elias, standing proudly in Santa’s hands, exactly where they belong. Possibly the most wonderful time of the year after all.

Elias' mum holds him close to her, his hand on her necklace. They are in the hospital after his birth, and Elias has his NG feeding tube taped to his face Before my son Elias was born (four years ago today!), two of my closest friends were expecting babies just months apart from me. I felt like we'd hit the parenting jackpot! For nine magical months, we were all in sync, comparing pram models, daydreaming about soft play dates and shared birthday parties. I felt like I had found my parenting tribe before my baby had even arrived. And then, everything changed. Elias arrived with complexities we weren’t prepared for. Within weeks, our path veered sharply away from the one we’d envisioned. There were hospital appointments, early interventions, diagnoses, and a silent, overwhelming grief for the parenting experience I thought I’d have. My friends did their best. They sent messages. They invited me to the groups, the meetups, the coffee catchups. But I couldn’t do it. I was exhausted — emotionally and physically — and I couldn’t relate anymore. I wasn’t weighing up which baby-led weaning book to follow; I was learning to read MRI reports and how to reinsert Elias' feeding tube when he pulled it out (cue a Christmas morning trip to A&E in my Christmas best when I eventually decided it was time to get confident doing it myself). While their babies were hitting milestones, mine was missing them. It hurt. So, I retreated. I fiercely defended Elias, I still do. But back then, it was more about survival. I pushed people away because I was scared they wouldn’t understand. And honestly, sometimes they didn’t. Finding Peace in the Shift One of the hardest things I’ve had to learn is that parenting a disabled child puts you on a different path. Not better. Not worse. Just different . And different can still be beautiful, even when it’s lonely at times. It took me a while to realise that not every friendship can or will survive that shift. Some people will still expect you to be the old version of yourself, but the reality is you've changed at a molecular level now, and your life will never be the same. Some won’t know what to say. Some will say the wrong things. Others will slowly fade because they don’t know how to hold space for your grief and  your joy. And you know what? That’s OK. Because my wonderful Elias deserves to be surrounded by people who see him. Who love him. Who make space for him. And so do I. Practical Ways to Navigate Friendships as a Complex Needs Parent If you’re a new parent navigating this emotional landscape, here’s what’s helped me: 1. Give yourself permission to grieve It doesn’t mean you love your child any less. It just means you’re human. Let yourself feel the loss of what you expected, it clears the way to embrace what is. 2. Be honest with your friends The good ones will want to know how to support you, but they may not have the language. Tell them what helps and what doesn’t. Share your world, even the messy bits. 3. Find common ground You may not be able to bond over weaning or sleep training, but you can still laugh about how little time you get to shower, or cry about how relentless parenting can be. 4. Let go without guilt If someone makes you feel less than, or like your child’s differences are an inconvenience, let them go. Your energy is precious, and your child is not up for debate. 5. Find your new village Connect with other SEND parents. Online, in person, however you can. There’s something healing about being with people who just get it  without needing the full backstory. A Beautiful, Unexpected Road I love my friends. I always will. We no longer share the same parenting experience for our three boys, but we’ve learned to meet in the middle and honour both paths. If you’re in the thick of it, feeling like the world is moving on without you, you're not alone. This road may be different, but it’s paved with just as much love, joy, and meaning. And the right people will walk it with you, even if it takes a while for your steps to align again. Your child is worth fighting for. Your peace is worth protecting. And your story, complicated, beautiful, and unexpected, is still unfolding.

Find a curated collection of expert articles, guides, and tools designed to support you at every stage of parenting. Empower yourself with knowledge and practical advice to navigate the complexities of raising children with confidence. OurResources . Filter by Content Select Content Apply Filters Reset Filters Filter by Tags Select Tags Blog Why Speaking Up Matters An unexpected diagnosis can change everything. Why voices like Jesy Nelson's matter, and why no parent should face this alone. Blog Ruling Out the Worst When your child is non-verbal, you must rule out the worst before you can focus on the small. This is the reality of complex needs. Blog Grief In The Days Leading Up to His Birthday The days before Elias’ birthday are always the hardest. Grief and joy can coexist — and it’s okay to feel both deeply. Article SEND system overhaul delayed until 2026 Plans were expected to be announced this autumn, but Education Secretary Bridget Phillipson has said they need more time to get it right Article BBC: Postcode Lottery of Parenting Early childhood, an important stage in determining a child's long-term future, is also a period that can get lost in our national politics. Blog Finding the Right Team for Your Child Finding the right team for your child is everything. When amazing people come and go, it’s personal—but the right ones become family. Blog The Hidden Weight Behind Harmless Questions 'Did you know before he was born?’ Some questions carry more weight than we realise. Curiosity is fine — but compassion matters more. Blog Life with Both Complex and Typically Developing Children Balancing the needs of all your children isn’t easy, but inclusion means making sure every child knows they always belong Blog Why Inclusive Grottos Matter More Than We Realise A signing Santa. A child fully included. One small thing that made Christmas magic feel possible for our family. Blog Celebrating Parenting on a Different Path When your parenting journey changes course, so do your friendships. Here’s how I learned to grieve, grow, and guard my peace Fundraiser Stronger Together: Support SEND Families Community, connection and compassion: empowering SEND families across the UK to be seen, celebrated and thrive with confidence. Article Call for heads’ SEND qualification MP defends plan to require new school leaders to have expertise in special educational needs, during Labour conference event Load More...

Explore our range of services at Complex Parenting for expert guidance and resources tailored to every stage of SEN parenting. From newborn care to teen challenges, find comprehensive support to empower your parenting journey. Our Services . At CPG, we provide a range of support services tailored to the unique needs of parents raising disabled children with additional or complex needs. Our offerings include: Initial Consultation . Access to like-minded parents, who offer advice, guidance, and strategies to address specific challenges faced by parents and their children. CommunitySupport . A supportive online community where parents can connect, share experiences, offer peer support, and find solidarity with others facing similar challenges. EHCPSupport . Strategies for effectively advocating for your child's educational rights and negotiating with educational authorities and healthcare professionals. AdvocacyAssistance . Guidance and support to help parents navigate the complexities of the healthcare, education, and social service systems, advocating for their child's rights and access to appropriate services and support. ResourceHub . A curated collection of educational materials, articles, tools, and resources designed to empower parents with knowledge and practical solutions for navigating various aspects of parenting. ParentalCoach . One-on-one coaching sessions to help parents develop practical strategies, coping mechanisms, and self-care practices to enhance their resilience and well-being. ContactUs . Want to know more? Get in touch below. First Name Last Name Email Message Send Thanks for submitting!

We are your dedicated support system, offering guidance, tailored resources, and a compassionate community to help you navigate every aspect of your complex parenting journey. About Us . Welcome to the Complex Parenting Group (CPG), where we understand that the journey of parenthood can throw up some unique challenges, especially when caring for disabled children or those with additional or complex needs. We are your dedicated support system, offering guidance, tailored resources, and a compassionate community to help you navigate every aspect of this journey. With our comprehensive services and commitment, we empower parents to embrace their roles with confidence and pave the way for brighter futures for their children. Together, let's navigate complex parenthood with strength, resilience, and hope. Ellis Reid - PR Professional & "Medical Mum" Our Values . At CPG our values are the cornerstone of everything we do. They guide our actions, interactions, and decisions as we strive to make a meaningful impact on the lives of parents and their children with additional or complex needs. Our values include: Empathy : We approach every interaction with understanding, compassion, and empathy, recognising the diverse challenges that parents face. Collaboration : We believe in the power of collaboration and work closely with parents, professionals, and communities to provide holistic support and solutions. Expertise : We are committed to maintaining the highest standards of professionalism and expertise, ensuring that our guidance and resources are informed by the latest research and best practices. Respect : We honour the dignity, autonomy, and unique experiences of every parent and child, fostering an inclusive and supportive environment where all voices are valued. Empowerment : We empower parents to advocate for their children, make informed decisions, and access the resources they need to thrive on their parenting journey. Resilience : We recognise the strength and resilience of parents and their children, supporting them in overcoming challenges and embracing opportunities for growth and development. Meet TheTeam . Ellis Reid CPG Founder & "Medical Mum" to Elias After my journey into parenthood changed drastically in 2021 I started the Complex Parenting Group to help parents like me, who need to find their village as they navigate complex parenting, and who just don't want to feel alone. Feel free to connect with me in any way you feel most comfortable, I am always open to chat to my fellow parents of complex children.